Today My Heart Broke

Today I was reading this blog; http://www.wearethatfamily.com/. Kristen is in Kenya with Compassion International. She is blogging her experience. She stated she vistited a part of hell yesterday and I have to say I agree with her. The conditions there are heart wrenching. Kids litterally live in cardboard, metal or mud huts. They may or may not have a mother and father or even one of them. They may find food in the rotting stuff they walk on call ground. The live on a heap of garbage. It broke my heart, it made me uncomfortable, it made me ache in side and made me cry. I sponsered one of those kids today. It seems so small and insignificant. I have had a letter waiting to go out to our little girl we sponser in India. It has been sitting on my desk for 2 weeks now. To me it was a letter I had to get done some day, but wasn't important. After today it means the world to me! I saw how much it means to the kids that get those letters. I am so ashamed. I never thought how much it could mean. I had to go outside and take a couple pictures in the cold and muddy weather. As I went out I thought... man it is cold, I need to hurry so I can go back in and find something to eat. I am hungry. Once again I stopped and thought about how blessed I am and how easily I just have to walk to my cupboard and just grab something that looks good. I don't have to go to the rotting trash pile and find fruit and vegetables that are rotting away to eat for my breakfast.

I hurt today. It is good for me to hurt. I feel guilty today for gluttony. That is okay to feel guilt for that. I pulled my head out of "my world" today and found it looking into God's world.

Amazingly enough there is hope in Kenya. God IS there. You have to look in the children's faces that are smiling despite their circumstances and you will see Him. You have to look at what Compassion does and you will see him. Do you know that every dollar you send goes to the child. It may cover food, school, clothing, a roof over thier head. All $38 dollars goes to that child and their family benefits from it. Did you know Compassion has three sites in the middle of one of the most dangerous slums in Kenya. They have school going on there for kids in the program. They have outreach ministry. Did you know they train Kenyans to teach and lead these programs? I never thought Compassion did so much. I guess I never took the time to find out. I just figured they were one more place asking for my money and then used it for making themselves bigger. They are making something bigger, that is the number of kids they can care for. Here is their link.
http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm Maybe you could go sponsor a child, or read Kristen's blog and your heart will be changed and then you will sponsor a child. It changed my thought process and heart. I am ashamed at my lack of nothing, my squadering of money on worldly things. I know I can enjoy the blessings God has given me, but today I will truly look at these as blessings and not things I deserve or am owed. I have so much, thank you Lord. Bless the girls we sponsor Lord!

Sorry, I have tried to make my links so you just have to click on them and I haven't figured that out quite yet. :)

There is more!

This is my not so little boy that was born tiny. He was 1# 13oz. He has over come so many obstacle in his 11 years. He is smart, kind, loves life and all that he encounters. He has never found a person he doesn't like and will befriend all. He doesn't worry about social "boundries" and will be kind to every person he meets. I pray he will always "be in the dark" about likes and dislikes of people. He is a true example of Christ's love to others. He doesn't discriminate against anyone in any way. He has an innocense that I covet. A zest for life and a freedom like no other I have met. Praise God for this boy of mine that teaches me lessons in love, acceptance and caring each day I look at him.

Happy Valentines Day to YOU!

It is a day of Love.... I wish it were every day. I like Valentines Day. Not because I get something, but because I am reminded how much I am loved and how much I love my family. I am reminded today and wish the ephasis was every day! Our bible study is on marriage right now. Today we talked about perservering love. Love that does not give up in hard times. Love that knows it will not leave. Love that struggles together to the end of the hardship. Love that may be tested but comes out refined. Love that we as humans have to struggle to maintain at times because of our selfishness but given freely by God. I am so thankful God LOVES me and I know I can always count on Him! I am so thankful my husband loves me and I know because we believe in Christ Jesus as our Lord and Savior we too will not give up on each other. We will choose not to leave. I love MY HUSBAND! Do you hear that world? I LOVE MY HUSBAND! Happy Valentines Day!

Another Boy I am in Love With!

This is another boy I absolutely love and adore. He is my second to youngest. He is our spit fire with a smile. A jokester with great eyes. He is full of life and loves everyone and everything. He is the boy that until recently could not sit down when eating. He would take a bite and stand up and go around his chair, or just move! He now has to sit when he eats. He is the boy that broke his leg on January 16th when learning to ski in Colorado. He chose a glow in the dark cast. That does not surprise me. This boy asked Jesus to be HIS Savior this past October. I love this boy! He is precious!

A Blessing

Today I learned from a very dear friend that they are looking into international adoption. Praise God he is moving people to adopt! I am so excited for them and can't wait for them to start their journey! One God moment I have to share for them is when they came home from their first informational meeting their son had taken a picture from the country they are looking to adopt in and placed in in front of their family picture. This picture had been sitting in a drawer for a long time and this little boy had NO idea what his parents were doing that evening. He placed the countries picture IN FRONT of their family picture in another room! God is SO COOL!

The things I actually say!

Yelling down the stairs to my boys in their dad's office, "Boys, quit yelling and fighting, there are people sleeping!"

Stop making that noise, don't hit your brother, yes he started it but you can't finish it, yes he is being a jerk and you can't follow him with it! Don't climb on that you might die and then what would I do? Yes I would be sad and yes I would miss you, no your brother can't climb on it either! If you do that then he will do this and if he does this then I will pull over and spank you both in front of whoever drives by! No you are not too old for a spanking if that is what will teach you not to do that!

I bought you chicken nuggets and fries. You have to eat all the chicken before the fries so you have something of value. (Do chicken nuggets really have value)? We are not going to the basket ball game to play video games and have fun, we are going to watch basketball.

You can not be grumpy in the morning if you choose not too. Your actions are your choice. You are going to make me mad and grumpy if you keep acting like that! I know my actions are my choice but you are pushing my actions to be grumpy. No, I am not pushing you to be grumpy, yours is your choice. I haven't done anything but tell you to choose to not be grumpy.

I don't seem like I love you when I boss you around all the time? I boss you around all the time because I do love you!

How would you feel if all you ever got to eat was rice and dry bread? That is what people in other countries eat and are so happy about eating it. Would you like me to fix you rice and dried bread for the next year? No? Then eat what I put in front of you or I will. (Like I really would only serve rice and dried bread for a year)? Come on Ann!

I am making you have the worst day of your life and I am mean? Oh boy... you want me to show you the worst day of your life and be mean? I can show you both and do them really well! Want me to?

Yes I love you, no I don't like to spank you, yes I love you lots and lots. Yes, I am still going to spank you because I love you. Will it hurt? If it doesn't I can get a spoon and make it hurt. You let me know. If it doesn't hurt enough we can have dad do it again later. You better not smile when I spank you or your dad will have to spank you later. If it doesn't hurt C, just act like it does or I will get really mad!

Okay, this is not over the last week. I have written down some of the things I have said for a while now thinking someday I would post them some place. I guess now is the time. :)

Discouraged

Today I found out Hannah and her sister were probably placed. That means we no longer have hope she will be our little girl. I am so sad. We were so close and then it is gone. I wonder if we went against God's plan of both girls. I don't know, never will. Now we wait. I feel like I need to do more than wait. I am praying too.... do I need to do more than that? I don't know what. Just discouraged. Sad too. My sister-in-law Traci found my blog without me telling her about it. Hi Traci. :) Still not sure I will ever share this with others, so shhh... don't tell you found it.

Two verses I read today were as follows; Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." And, Isaiah 40:31 "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint."

I have hope, I do believe, but have no patience and no understanding and question why at times. Hmmmm praise the Lord I can trust Him to do what is best for our family and when it is best. I just hope I did not screw up His plans when saying no to two girls when we should have said yes. :(