Exhausted

I am exhausted and could use some prayer. We have two placements with us right now. 1 1/2 boy and 2 1/2 girl. Adorable, needy, young, happy, messy, God's children. We don't know if they will be with us permanently or not. The prior care giver gets to decide if she wants them permanently. She is a good woman so I don't fear for the children. I am just exhausted in the now. Gives me a lot more appreciation and respect for people who foster all the time and do day care. Wow... I could use some prayer though. Actually we could use some prayer. Satan is attacking while I/we are exhausted. Please pray for these kids, for us, for God's hands to be on this situation and Satan to flee back to his hole. Thanks for your prayers!

"Dew on the fleece, not on the grass."

Have you ever had one of those moments where you asked God to give you a sign? Gideon did in Judges 6:36-39. God told Gideon he would save Israel with his hand. Gideon needed some assurance God would be with him. Here is what he asked God.

36 Gideon said to God, "If you will save Israel by my hand as you have promised- 37 look, I will place a wool fleece on the threshing floor. If there is dew only on the fleece and all the ground is dry, then I will know that you will save Israel by my hand, as you said." 38 And that is what happened. Gideon rose early the next day; he squeezed the fleece and wrung out the dew—a bowlful of water.

39 Then Gideon said to God, "Do not be angry with me. Let me make just one more request. Allow me one more test with the fleece. This time make the fleece dry and the ground covered with dew." 40 That night God did so. Only the fleece was dry; all the ground was covered with dew.


Now I can't say that I have made it a habit to test God in this way. I don't even know that I would say we have the right to test him in this way. BUT... I do think he cares about us and the decisions we make and the way we follow what He wants of us. It is no secret I have highs and lows in the adoption arena. I prayed about it for 2 years before Brad said yes about it. I have now been praying about it for 3 1/2 years. We have been offered one placement and we stupidly said no. I still get frustrated with it. It was fear and Satan I am sure. We thought we should only take one child and limited God. So, not a year and 1/2 later I am wondering if this is really what God wants of us or does he want us to help orphans in another way. Does he want us to give money someplace instead of bringing one or two kids home? Am I on a selfish track and pulling my family along or has our time just expired for adopting. I didn't have the answers and as I prayed I asked God for a sign. It was a simple sign for God really. It wasn't a sign for what child we should have, but for the direction of adoption or starting another course.

A week and a half ago we submitted our finger prints for KBI/FBI background checks. We had been told in the state of Kansas it would take 4 to 6 weeks to get them back because Kansas put all finger printing for adoption or foster care on the back burner and put everything else above it. We were ready to wait that 4 to six weeks. So, 3 days after sending them in while I was praying and feeling lost I asked God for the "dew on the mat and not on the grass sign." I asked if he would please have the finger print checks back in two weeks for me to know if we should continue on the path to adoption. This is very quick return for the prints and I knew it would be God working if we got them in two weeks. Much to my surprise we got the prints back on Friday. That is only one week since I sent them in. Can you say God moment? I am so thankful my heavenly father takes the time out of his HUGE every day job to hear my prayers and then answer them even faster than I had anticipated him doing. So... we will stay on the path of adoption, be amazed at how God's hand works, pray for our little girl or girls or daughter and son whom ever they may be where ever they are right now and wait for word that they are coming home. To God be all the praise and Glory for great things he hath done. In Jesus name I can depend and tell the world of his mighty works!

Do Not Grow Weary

Hebrews 12:1-3
1.Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2.Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

It is so easy to become weary when we are not getting ahead to where we think we should be. In adoption I have been very weary. I have not gotten things done like I want and have begun thinking maybe God doesn't want us to adopt. Just as things start feeling this way God renews my hope in adoption and renews my vigor to keep persevering. God is faithful in all he does. He is faithful to all who persevere. God is faithful according to his will in our lives. I have not gotten a no in adoption, but a wait on me. This applies to so many areas in our lives. We get down because things are not going the way we would like or think. God never said it would be easy. His Son had to endure the idea of dying on a cross and as Hebrews says, "Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame," faced the cross and persevered thru it all to sit on the right had of God. Isn't Jesus the perfect example of things not going the way we would want them to go and still persevering through it. I pray all of us can persevere toward what God is calling us to do and to do it with strength, God's strength which he gives freely to all who will ask it of him.

Lord God, Creator of all things. You alone deserve all glory and honor. You alone know what has been, what is and what is to come. You persevere every day through all our human blunders, questions and bad judgements, and you rejoice in all things we learn and use for your glory. Lord I pray you give me the strength to persevere through doubts and inpatients. I pray you give me the strength and guidance of your Holy Spirit that I may bless you in all that I do and show all around me how I run the race with you running before me. I pray for all who read this that they too will be reminded that you are here in the midst of our struggles and triumphs running beside us and waiting to help us be used by you and for you. In your Gracious name Jesus I pray, Amen

"Summer Lovin, Havin a Blast"

Summer has been so much fun this year. We have played in the water lots and lots. Here are some pretty good shots from our MN. trip in August. We went tubing with Brad's brother and his family. We were minus three kids but oh did we have some fun on the water!

What I have learned in almost 38 years...

I am going to be 38 very soon. I can't believe I am closer to 40 than 20. As I ahem... mature, I seem to think more of what it is I need to do in life or who I need to be. I look at "younger" people and think, "if you only knew!" I have learned many things and I am sure my millions of faithful readers would love to know what it is I have learned or am learning and trying to place into my life.

I have learned from the book of Romans I am not the judge. I am not the jury and I am not better. I have learned I need to leave the judging up to God. I have learned I am no better than the person not doing anything for God's kingdom if I am going to judge anyone while I do my work.

I have learned I can try very hard and still fail. I have learned God can pick me right back up, pat the dust off of me and say try again. I have learned my time is only my time. God's time is the ultimate and I must wait on His timing. That one is a hard one. I have learned a person was talked to by a donkey and a thistle in the bible. I have found that to be amazing and crazy, yet a lot of the old testament is amazing and crazy to me. I have learned I CAN read through the bible in a year and it is actually really fun! I have learned Paul's letters are some of my favorite new testament passages. I have learned I am definitely not mature in my faith even though I have been a Christian for 33 years!

I have learned I love Jesus very much and that means more to me now that it ever has in my life. I have learned the urgency in wanting my children to all know Him as I know him. I have learned money is nothing in really loving God, but money is a way to help others when I am showing the love of God.

I am still learning to hear the Holy Spirit when he speaks. Or maybe I am learning I do hear him but don't always want to obey. I am learning how much I am blessed with my dad, my sister, my husband's family, my dad's wife and her daughters. I am learning I am blessed even though I don't have my biological mother here on this earth. I am blessed with the examples she set, the time I had with her, the memory of her and the legacy she left behind.

It is amazing how much learning goes on even when one is almost to 40. I am also learning I need to keep praying God uses me to bless him and others in my life even if I have to learn some harder lessons along the way. I am learning it is scary to pray this because it is hard to get out of my comfort zone. I am learning I need to get out of my comfort zone so I can be used, I can bless others for Jesus. Won't you join me in praying for teachable moments for myself and others. That God would use me and use you for his glory, for his greater plan? Take the leap of faith, don't look back and say yes Lord, use me please!

Jesus needs to be enough.

I have been challenged in my prayer life and bible reading time this year. I have completely enjoyed reading thru the one year bible! I am so caught up in the stories and the stupidity of humans. Yet God still works for the good, still works his plan, still accomplishes what he needs accomplished through us. In our Sunday school class we have been listening to Louie Gigleo. He challenges us to quit praying routine prayers. Mine at night go something like this... "Dear Lord, thank you for this day. Thank you for loving me, help me to have a good night sleep....." and then I fall asleep. Now, my prayer life during the day time is much better and I journal it so I stay on track. That is the best way for me to pray. Otherwise I have trouble sticking with it and really praying. BUT... Louie says we as Christians so often pray the same thing over and over and over and over. Lord, be with us, Lord bless us, Lord for give our many sins. Lord watch over us, Lord bless us as we meet together, bless our time, our fellowship, be with us. He doesn't condemn these prayers, but he wants us to check our quick relationships at the door and begin a real one. We wouldn't say these same things over and over to our spouse. We need to talk with Jesus, God the creator of the Universe! Give HIM something more of us! Maybe just maybe say to him, "Lord I pray I bless you today. Lord God almighty, I need you to put your fingerprints in my business, make it flourish and expand but not with who I am but with who you are. Let my business show who Jesus Christ is and bless others and teach others all about you. Bless my business in that way Dear Father. Lord, we are traveling. We pray we can bless you as we travel and all we do acknowledges you. Lord God almighty I have sinned, I have spoken with a wagging tongue against ______. Lord I am weak and need to work on being stronger. Forgive me please Lord and may the Holy Spirit use me the next time I am put in that situation.

These are all examples of being specific with our Heavenly Father. The Creator of Heaven and Earth. The One that can wipe away all with a blink of His eye. We need to think of Him as EVERYTHING. Nothing else matters but what we do for him. Whether or not we get that boat, Ipad, Nook, what ever it may be we need to not worry about those insignificant things but look toward our creator and ask what we can do for him to bless HIM. Don't be complacent in your stuff and more stuff. Stretch yourselves, look for ways you are able to bless God. Buy the Nook and give it to someone that will never be able to afford one! Put the money going towards your Ipad that you can really live without towards blessing someone who will go without food tomorrow. Make Jesus enough for your life and heart.

Don't get me wrong, you can enjoy God's blessings. There is nothing wrong with doing this. Just not wait and want like I have and do for the next great thing coming your way. Bring the next great thing to the next person instead. Make it stretch you. After all, Jesus is our everything as a Christian and if he is our everything, shouldn't we give him everything in return?

Summer

Stream of consience...

We went to family camp this past week. It was fun, exciting, energizing, tiring, wet, scarey, godly and just plain old GREAT! It was so much fun having uninterupted family time, godly staff that were amazing to us and especially our children. Feeling safe, learning more about our walk with the Mighty Creator God. It was humbling to see and hear about other families and their situations, about what everyone learned at camp. It was a weekend that was well worth it!

The down sides? Having to come home to real life where I have to get stuff done like laundry and cooking and dishes. Oh, and I played Monopoly City again with Brant and Kale. Can you say 3 hours? Ugh... I think I will keep that game to once a month.

My boys love to swim. They were fish at family camp and Kai especially still wants to get in our tiny pool here home. Camden got ear infections from swimming at camp and has tonsilities now too.

In two days I leave with my niece Tessa and my friend Kim and her family to go horse camping. I am excited but have so much to do before then. Right now I am waiting on lunch to cook so I can feed my family. We are having taco salad with lettuce I grew in my garden. What fun! I will have fresh green beans too, but I am the only one that will eat them. Well, maybe Barney will too. We will see. I have eaten a few cherry tomatoes from my garden. Can you say yum? I can! YUM!

We don't have much more time before school starts. The summer is flying by. We still have baseball a few nights a week, but it is slowing down. We had been going every night of the week but Saturday. My two eldest will be going to camp at the same time in July. Right after our cousins wedding. Then in August our thrid son will be going to Trout Lake Camp. I am so excited about this because this is where I went to camp as a kid and where my parents worked many summers! It is fun to see a child of mine go to this awesome camp!

When school starts my youngest will be in Kindergarden. I can't believe my youngest is that old already. People ask what I will do with my time. I am sure I will enjoy a little bit of quiet time, but I am also sure I will find plenty to do or Brad will find plenty for me to do. My boys while I type this are asking when they can date. I told them when they can drive a car leagally they can go on a date. We will see how this goes. My youngest just said, "please don't be mad that I say this mom, but when a girl wants to date a guy she says he is a hot guy. Is that okay to say?" I told him it is okay to say, but not very polite. I said he could tell her she is very pretty or she could tell him he looks very hansom. Much better sounding. I am sure my children think I am like 80 when I say something like that. Okay... lunch is ready, I need to get back to real life. How was my first stream of concience?