Kaitlin

There is a saying and it goes like this. "God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good." I feel like rejoicing today. I met my future daughter and I am so glad I did. Kaitlin is a very sweet, loving, kind little girl. She is definitely looking for love. Praise the Lord he put her with her current foster parents! They love her like CRAZY! That is exactly what she needed the last 6 months before she found us! We had a wonderful time meeting Kaitlin, her foster family and the people who work with Kaitlin. She has a place in my heart and I am very impatient to bring her home. I know she is human, things will not always be perfect. I am human and I am not perfect. I know, you weren't sure, right? Well, even I am not perfect and I am sure we will have bumps in the road, but there is one thing I am sure of right now. God is calling us to adopt Kaitlin and we are following his call. We will hopefully get to have her here in our home by the end of May. That is if things go as we plan and her current foster family plans. We shared lots of hugs, lots of play time, and lots of love the last two days. She is a girly girl through and through and has BEAUTIFUL hair to play with! She even likes it being done! I might need some help from women who have had girls, I only know how to french braid and regular braid! We now start to get her room ready. I am so excited to bring my daughter home I can barely stand it! Ephesians 3:20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

My God, my Father in Heaven. I am so humbled by your commitment to me, to Kaitlin to our family. I am so in awe at the answered prayers and thankful. Lord I went into this weekend scared, wondering if this is what you are calling us to, or if I was messing up. I was letting Satan have the upper hand at night when I would contemplate things in my mind. Lord, you blessed me this weekend by a little girl named Kaitlin. You showed me how your love and your purpose is at work. You gave me peace in knowing Kaitlin is my little girl. You blessed us with a wonderful time together and you blessed both Brad and I with peace in the situation. Thank you Father for Kaitlin. Thank you for her current foster parents and workers. Thank you for leading me to her. Thank you for trusting our family to be Kaitlin's family. Thank you Lord for Kaitlin. I don't stop asking though Lord. There is a lifetime of growth for Kaitlin and our family. I ask you to bond our boys and Kaitlin this coming week. I ask you to bless the time with love, caring, understanding and the peace that Brad and I feel to go beyond us and into ALL our children, including Kaitlin. I pray you will continue to heal Kaitlin's wounds. Take away the sins of others that have been put on her. Take away her fear, her hurt, her memories of those who were not nice to her. Take away all that sin of others and make her heart, mind and soul new as she enters a new chapter of her life. Lord, you took on the sins of the world to make us clean. Take this away from Kaitlin so she can be the carefree little girl she deserves to be. Allow us to build her up in your name. Thank you Lord Jesus for the time we spent with Kaitlin the last two days. Thank you for blessing our lives. Help us to bless Kaitlin's life with your love from now on. In Jesus name I pray this prayer, Amen

Chosen

I got a call Monday. We were chosen. Us, Our Family, The Coxes. Our family was chosen for a little girl. It is still a bit surreal. I am still trying to wrap my mind around it. Brad and I get to go meet her tomorrow. Will you pray for us? Pray God's hand stays upon this situation, that he renews her heart, soul and mind. That is is renewed in a way that she can be the little girl she is supposed to be and not live with the memories of what bad has happened to her? Pray God's hand heals her little heart to be whole again. Pray she loves us as much as we will love her. Pray her transition isn't so scary and as she meets Brad and I there will be a connection and then when she meets our boys there will be a connection. God is here, the Holy Spirit is praying on our behalf and Jesus Christ is interceding for us and bringing it to God. Isn't God amazing. Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for a hope and a future. Philippians 1:6 He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Dear Lord, you know me so well, you know our little girl just as well. You have seen her past, her past hurt and the troubles she has now. Heal her Lord Jesus. Let her come into her new life, her new household whole and not held by the bonds of fear and pain from her past. Lay your gentle healing hand upon her this day Lord so she can be the little girl she is supposed to be. One without fear of what will happen next. Go before Brad and I tomorrow as we go to meet her and allow us to fall in love with her just as we did when we learned about each of our children in my womb. Guide or actions, our thoughts and words tomorrow when we meet our little girl. In Jesus name I pray, Amen

Still in the running, not the last one standing waiting to be picked.

Yesterday we got an email about "our" little girl. We were given her phych evaluation. We were told we have until Friday to decide if we still want to be an adoptive resource for her. I have to admit I worried when I read it. Not because she is behind physically and mentally. Not because she is maybe ADD/ADHD. Not because she has nightmares. But for reasons that God confronted me with today. You see, I have been thinking to take the easy way out for my heart and life in general. Our renewal came up. It renews here in May. We will be going on our 3rd year of waiting for our little girl. I think over this time my "dream" has escalated to a "perfect situation and daughter." When I read her evaluation I thought... man, it might be tough for a while. Man, my time will definitely not be my own. Man... life might get a little harder. So, I thought maybe we shouldn't renew and just forget it. Go on with life as it is now. Easy. Our kids are all in school, I have time to clean, time to write my blog, time to do my devotions. I don't have to stress when we go to school functions because my kids are in them or old enough not to get bored and whine or cry. It would be easy to just not renew! Guilt took over and I decided we needed to renew for one more year. We needed to try one more year. My heart has been guarded though. It has been telling me I don't really want to do this. God has been telling me different. He has shown me how awesome adoption is thru a good friend of mine named Angela. He has shown me how selfless another blog friend of mine is, Amy. She has 5 children adopted thru international adoption and foster care. She has 4 bio children too. Her time is NOT her own and now they are all moving to Guatemala to do God's work. Here I am sitting and worrying about "my" time. God told me today I need to think of others better than me. Not to look out for my own interests, but the interests of others. He told me because of His blood, I can have a relationship with him. He wants me to teach my daughter about Him. I need to be selfless, have selfless thoughts and actions. God gave it to me today and I am glad. Our daughter is waiting for us and even if it isn't this little one, he is expecting us to do for him what a bio parent couldn't for HIS daughter. Thanks God. Here are the verses I read today in my devotion. God is so good! Romans 12:2, Philippians2:1-11,

1 in 5

It isn't a surprise to anyone reading we have been trying to foster to adopt for 2 years. Back in November I submitted our home study to a group called TFI. They have a 3 year old little girl named Kaitlin who needs a mommy and daddy. Right before Christmas I was told they were still reading through home studies and they would know more after Christmas. After Christmas I called and was told we were one in 16 home studies they were keeping, but they were still trying to cut some of them out. About 3 weeks ago I got an email from Kaitlin's adoption coordinator. She said we were chosen as one in five families to have their home studies brought to her best interest staffing, or BIS. What is this BIS? It is when a group of people with Kaitlin's best interest in mind look at all the different families brought to the BIS and pick where they think she would fit best. I kind of feel like the kids in a line up for teams and just am hoping I don't get picked last and maybe I will get picked first. We are one in five families that just might be able to give Kaitlin a home. It is hard waiting. It is hard thinking my daughter could almost be coming home, yet again, she might not. I have prayed for our daughter for 4 years now, maybe even 5, but I quit counting. :) For Kaitlin I pray God places her exactly where He wants her. That the place she ends up will teach her about Jesus and help her build a relationship with Him. I pray she will be able to attach and know what the love of a mommy and daddy truly is. I pray God will even now as I type be healing her mind, heart and soul so she can be whole on earth, before she gets to heaven. I pray wherever she is placed the mommy and daddy can love her even through the hard times and always know she was meant to be their daughter. So, we hurry up and wait some more. The Lord knows our heart, he knows our why, he knows what we need, and more importantly what Kaitlin needs. I have no worries God will take care of HIS daughter Kaitlin. I pray we can bless him if we are allowed to be her parents.

Today

Today I saw a post on Facebook and this is what it said; "thought CHURCH was about Love, Care, and GOD! NOT Socializing, Gossiping, Putting People Down or acting like you're better than others!!"

It makes me sad when Christians set examples like this, but it makes me even more sad when people are turned away from God because of this. I wish we could put a statement on every church in the country explaining why some Christians may act like they do.

Romans 3:23
"For ALL have SINNED and FALL SHORT of the Glory of God." If I could get across to every person questioning Jesus, God, a relationship with Him, it is not the humans representing him that they need to look to for examples, it is Jesus life itself!

People turned off by me, or others in the church that are always going to fall in who they represent need to not allow us sinful natured people to choose their life in heaven or a life in hell. Don't let sinners decide your future with Jesus, let it be between you and God, leave humans out of the equation.

And for those Christians out there, yes, you... and me... people are watching to see what we do and how we do it and why. Doesn't matter where we are, people are watching and that means we have to do EVERYTHING in our power to represent the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to be a loving, compassionate, caring, non-gossiping, servant to all we meet, greet and see in that day and every day. We need to show Christ actions in all we do.

The Desires Of Ones Heart?

Today and the rest of this week I am watching to adorable little girls. My heart has melted and I am in love. :) A 1 3/4 old little girl and a 1 month old little girl. This is the desire of my heart. This is what I long for. This is what I hope God brings to our home. It doesn't have to be two, one would work. It is such a difference from the two sweet children we had a few weeks ago. I am not exhausted but content, I am not fearing what the older one will get into next but content to watch her play and to play with her. As she naps I think about how wonderful today is and how much I look forward to the rest of this week. This is the desire of my heart. Do you see this Lord? This is what I ask for, this is what I long for, this is what we need added to our home.

Blessings Flow

Our Thanksgiving was calm and quiet, just our little family. Not by choice, we had a sick kid the night before and didn't feel we should share that with anyone else. It ended up being a great blessing for our family. At the supper table we went around and each stated what we are thankful for. It was neat to hear what our children said and all of their answers included thankfulness for our home, food, clothing, family. We then opened our blessings box which we made last Christmas. Sad to say there were not a ton of things written and slid into the box but it was still fun to read them. We plan on doing better next year!

After we all took our turns talking about blessings, Brad and I brought up World Vision and the catalog we received from them. In the catalog were many items we could purchase for people that do not have clothing, food, water, medicine etc... Brad and I new we could ask the kids to pick some things out for others but we wanted to make it more personal to our kids. We wanted our kids to give of themselves, not of their parents, but of themselves. Each of them received money for their bucket calves that were sold this fall. We talked about how much is tithed, how much is put into savings and how much they would have left over to spend how they wanted. We asked each of them to think about spending some of their extra on others who don't have. It was so much fun to see them think and look through the magazine and pick out exactly what they thought would help someone else. Here is our list of what our kids picked out and also what we will give as a family. One more thing, we told our kids what ever they spent in their money we would match it so they could pick out even more for others. It does a mama proud to see her kids so willingly give of themselves and not complain! So... here is what we will be giving to others this Christmas...

3 goats, 16 chickens, 1 pig, 1 sheep, 1,100 dollars in new clothing(we don't spend the 1,100 a company adds to our donation of $100)! 10 fruit trees, seeds for a garden for 2 families and $250 dollars in emergency food, we will not pay the full 250, once again a company adds to our donation of $50 dollars! Isn't that exciting and fun and gives us a sense of "giving" in a time where others need so much and us not as much!

In our talking with our kids we also allowed them to understand Christmas wouldn't be as extravagant this year. We were cutting back so we could give to others. We talked about us having everything we need and how we are having a hard time giving ideas of what we do want for Christmas to other family members. I do know it is fun as a kid to get some fun things for Christmas, I didn't forget that in my old age. But, I also remember how much more fun it is to give to others. Let the blessings flow out from us in Jesus name and find another loved one belonging to our Precious God the Father!