The things I actually say!

Yelling down the stairs to my boys in their dad's office, "Boys, quit yelling and fighting, there are people sleeping!"

Stop making that noise, don't hit your brother, yes he started it but you can't finish it, yes he is being a jerk and you can't follow him with it! Don't climb on that you might die and then what would I do? Yes I would be sad and yes I would miss you, no your brother can't climb on it either! If you do that then he will do this and if he does this then I will pull over and spank you both in front of whoever drives by! No you are not too old for a spanking if that is what will teach you not to do that!

I bought you chicken nuggets and fries. You have to eat all the chicken before the fries so you have something of value. (Do chicken nuggets really have value)? We are not going to the basket ball game to play video games and have fun, we are going to watch basketball.

You can not be grumpy in the morning if you choose not too. Your actions are your choice. You are going to make me mad and grumpy if you keep acting like that! I know my actions are my choice but you are pushing my actions to be grumpy. No, I am not pushing you to be grumpy, yours is your choice. I haven't done anything but tell you to choose to not be grumpy.

I don't seem like I love you when I boss you around all the time? I boss you around all the time because I do love you!

How would you feel if all you ever got to eat was rice and dry bread? That is what people in other countries eat and are so happy about eating it. Would you like me to fix you rice and dried bread for the next year? No? Then eat what I put in front of you or I will. (Like I really would only serve rice and dried bread for a year)? Come on Ann!

I am making you have the worst day of your life and I am mean? Oh boy... you want me to show you the worst day of your life and be mean? I can show you both and do them really well! Want me to?

Yes I love you, no I don't like to spank you, yes I love you lots and lots. Yes, I am still going to spank you because I love you. Will it hurt? If it doesn't I can get a spoon and make it hurt. You let me know. If it doesn't hurt enough we can have dad do it again later. You better not smile when I spank you or your dad will have to spank you later. If it doesn't hurt C, just act like it does or I will get really mad!

Okay, this is not over the last week. I have written down some of the things I have said for a while now thinking someday I would post them some place. I guess now is the time. :)