The Last, Yet... The First!

This is the last boy I am going to talk about, but the first one born to me. I too love this boy. He is fast becoming a teen, is smart, respectful (most of the time), love Jesus, is not afraid to be himself, is not a follower of men, but of God. He is a boy I rely on, he actually helps me clean without me asking! He does make me feel old as my first baby is growing. He has a love for golf and fishing, loves his Grandpa Frank because they share these loves. When told he may not be able to go to Minnesota this spring because of baseball his answer was, "uh, mom, I have like 14 baseball games, I only see Grandpa and Grandma E. 4 times a year. I am going to MN!" I guess that takes care of that! I am sad to see B. grow, but am excited to see the man God is creating. 13 is a big number, bless him Dear Lord as he turns 13 in just a few short days. Bless all my boys with the knowledge of Your love, grace, and an eternal life in You!

Can you pray for us?

Even though I did not go to Kenya or Hatti or Ethiopia, I feel as though I have. My heart aches every day and I get teary eyed every day thinking about the kids in Kenya I read about. I have many thoughts go through my head. I wonder if Brad and I are doing enough with our abundance. I wonder if we are sitting stagnant when God is calling us to adopt outside of our country. I read yesterday on an international adoption site called CCI. My friend Amy in her blog, "Building The Blocks" talks about CCI. It is who they went through with their latest adoption of a beautiful baby girl. They say most kids in Ethiopia are in orphanages because their parents died or have such poverty they can't take care of them. Is God working on my heart towards international adoption? If so, how is he going to work on Brad's? I don't have the answers. I wish I did. Could you pray for us? Pray for answers? Ethiopia is a country where the wait is nil. Once your dossier is submitted you have immediate placement or just a 3 month wait. I don't know. :(

I look at the difference from Ethiopia to America. American kids need love every bit as much as the inter country adoption kids do, but American kids circumstances are so different. The kids are in care because parents do drugs, drink alcohol, abuse them, let others abuse them. It is sad, it is not right, but it is so different than other countries. So many of the American children are so traumatized, it is heart wrenching, yet we have waited a year to adopt our daughter and it just isn't happening. I don't know what is right or wrong, which route we should be considering. Please pray for us and a decision. Please pray for all the children needing mommies and daddies throughout our country and the other countries around the world. Pray and ask God what you can do to help. Not just help and forget, but help and remember. Help so you might have to tighten down on spending that is not necessary. Remember to thank God for the blessings he has given you. If you were to go to this blog, http://www.wearethatfamily.com/ and read about her Kenya trip you would see how blessed we truly are, even if we live paycheck to paycheck. Thanks for bearing with me as I hurt and put my feelings out there. They are not easy feelings for me to deal with and it feels good to write them down. Ann

Today My Heart Broke

Today I was reading this blog; http://www.wearethatfamily.com/. Kristen is in Kenya with Compassion International. She is blogging her experience. She stated she vistited a part of hell yesterday and I have to say I agree with her. The conditions there are heart wrenching. Kids litterally live in cardboard, metal or mud huts. They may or may not have a mother and father or even one of them. They may find food in the rotting stuff they walk on call ground. The live on a heap of garbage. It broke my heart, it made me uncomfortable, it made me ache in side and made me cry. I sponsered one of those kids today. It seems so small and insignificant. I have had a letter waiting to go out to our little girl we sponser in India. It has been sitting on my desk for 2 weeks now. To me it was a letter I had to get done some day, but wasn't important. After today it means the world to me! I saw how much it means to the kids that get those letters. I am so ashamed. I never thought how much it could mean. I had to go outside and take a couple pictures in the cold and muddy weather. As I went out I thought... man it is cold, I need to hurry so I can go back in and find something to eat. I am hungry. Once again I stopped and thought about how blessed I am and how easily I just have to walk to my cupboard and just grab something that looks good. I don't have to go to the rotting trash pile and find fruit and vegetables that are rotting away to eat for my breakfast.

I hurt today. It is good for me to hurt. I feel guilty today for gluttony. That is okay to feel guilt for that. I pulled my head out of "my world" today and found it looking into God's world.

Amazingly enough there is hope in Kenya. God IS there. You have to look in the children's faces that are smiling despite their circumstances and you will see Him. You have to look at what Compassion does and you will see him. Do you know that every dollar you send goes to the child. It may cover food, school, clothing, a roof over thier head. All $38 dollars goes to that child and their family benefits from it. Did you know Compassion has three sites in the middle of one of the most dangerous slums in Kenya. They have school going on there for kids in the program. They have outreach ministry. Did you know they train Kenyans to teach and lead these programs? I never thought Compassion did so much. I guess I never took the time to find out. I just figured they were one more place asking for my money and then used it for making themselves bigger. They are making something bigger, that is the number of kids they can care for. Here is their link.
http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm Maybe you could go sponsor a child, or read Kristen's blog and your heart will be changed and then you will sponsor a child. It changed my thought process and heart. I am ashamed at my lack of nothing, my squadering of money on worldly things. I know I can enjoy the blessings God has given me, but today I will truly look at these as blessings and not things I deserve or am owed. I have so much, thank you Lord. Bless the girls we sponsor Lord!

Sorry, I have tried to make my links so you just have to click on them and I haven't figured that out quite yet. :)

There is more!

This is my not so little boy that was born tiny. He was 1# 13oz. He has over come so many obstacle in his 11 years. He is smart, kind, loves life and all that he encounters. He has never found a person he doesn't like and will befriend all. He doesn't worry about social "boundries" and will be kind to every person he meets. I pray he will always "be in the dark" about likes and dislikes of people. He is a true example of Christ's love to others. He doesn't discriminate against anyone in any way. He has an innocense that I covet. A zest for life and a freedom like no other I have met. Praise God for this boy of mine that teaches me lessons in love, acceptance and caring each day I look at him.